Reciprocity, baby.

An opinion piece on reciprocity and the publishing industry.

I’ve been thinking a lot about reciprocity lately. The internet isn’t hurting for opinions on this topic; I’ve heard it all. But I’d like to explore it a bit more, particularly how it relates to indie authors. 

The indie writing community is based on natural reciprocity: I scratch your back, you scratch mine. It developed over social media as a way to bypass the gatekeeping of traditional publishing. Most of us understand it’s just part of the deal; we don’t mind. I love to support friends and give back, and I see supportive groups functioning well. But many in the community have complained that when it becomes expected but not earned, there is a problem. 

For example, Joe Author self-publishes a book. He hears about the writing community and how they all buy each other’s books. He wants his book to sell and starts passive-aggressively bullying people to read his book. He doesn’t bother to get to know anyone or show support to anyone else (or he buys one book and expects accolades) and begins dropping his book links on popular posts; he might even cold DM. This type of person does not do well in the community. Why? He treats people like dollar signs rather than people. 

Another example is Kyle Author, who wants to succeed but doesn’t want to be bothered to put any work in. He sees other indie authors doing well and wants to capitalize on their success. He wants to use and exploit the labor of others for his own self-gain. Kyle works more insidiously; he will show support and kindness to these successful folks, hoping that if he sucks up enough, they will grace him with everything he needs to succeed. I have run into this type many, many times; I’ve even fallen for it. This type treats people like pawns in a chessboard; unfortunately, he often succeeds. 

Then you have Mindy Author. Mindy is sweet, shows lots of support, and lifts her fellow authors when possible. The problem is, once it comes time for Mindy to drop her own work, she hears crickets. She knows she shouldn’t expect reciprocity, but it hurts that she goes to all this effort to support others and gets nothing in return. While I think we’ve all been Mindy to some degree, this is still problematic behavior. She is still doing things to get a result instead of naturally supporting and naturally getting support in return. It’s like she’s watching a chess game already in play and trying to jump in instead of finding other players to start her own match. 

So, what’s a prospective indie author to do? 

Before I offer my opinion, let’s look at how this translates to the traditional publishing industry. I have seen many authors begin small and, when they get picked up by an agent or a large press, isolate themselves from their roots. Suddenly, what used to be a standard practice between peers becomes an insult. And don’t get me wrong—it very well can be. No matter the level, sharks will circle when they smell success. In this case, I see both sides. It’s hard to watch a peer rise and make you feel less than, but no one in life owes you a damn thing. This is where professional boundaries are key: not only setting them but respecting them. If someone has supported you in the past but is now too busy or too focused on their career to offer any more support, let them be and keep it moving. Start your own game of chess.

Speaking of sharks, any aspect of the entertainment industry has the ‘I scratch your back, you scratch mine’ dynamic. But the more money is at stake, the more vicious it becomes. Industry professionals are often the Kyles and other predatory types who have stepped on others to get to where they are. And they have no issue continuing to behave that way. My heart goes out to writers at these publishing levels; not only do they have to deal with other authors trying to exploit them, but they must contend with the professional sharks. Many writers are introverted, sensitive types, and to be thrust into a cutthroat industry is tough to contend with. 

So, how do we get through this? 

I touched on this a little, but the solution really comes down to professional boundaries. As a recovering, lifelong people-pleaser, I am now comfortable saying ‘no.’ But for a while, instead of asserting my boundaries, I became so guarded that I alienated myself from my peers. I was so sick of the Kyles that I started to fear that everyone I met was some degree of toxic. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I stopped writing poetry—I was tired of people using my own words to manipulate me. 

But I can’t live that way. I love people, especially my fellow creatives, and I really don’t want to delete all my socials and retreat to the abyss (trust me, it’s crossed my mind). I realized the industry is just the way it is, and if I want to exist within it, I will accept things—but I’m doing it my way. I do this by setting and consistently reaffirming my boundaries. I stay connected with my fellow indies and support them where I can. If I can help, I will. If I can’t, then I can’t, and that’s okay. When the Kyles and Joes come sniffing around, I block them. When I can tell someone is a toxic Mindy, I also block. 

My advice to all authors—self-pub, indie pub, and trad pub—is to believe in yourself enough to stand up to any form of exploitation. Some people thrive in competition and have no issues climbing the corporate ladder or playing office politics. But if you’re not, that’s okay. It’s the creativity itself that is the most important. Set your boundaries and hold them firm. 

And if you find yourself in a sticky situation and need some help, you know where to find me. 

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